My Prayer (Written August 2008)

Dear Lord,
First of all I just wanna continue to thank you for blessing my family and I even though many of them don't even realize how fortunate we are. LORD, I know I make mistakes and most of the time i know EXACTLY what I'm doing and I know it not only displeases you but it hurts you. LORD, you know my weaknessess and my strengths. And I have COMPLETE FAITH that you will look beyond my mistakes and continue to enstill me with the wisdom, knowledge, courage, patience, DETERMINATION to fulfill the destiny you have for me. LORD, I'm a little confused and excited at the same time becuase I made a new friend lord. The same friend I have been asking you for continuously. What makes me confused is, I liked him first. and the more i get to know him, I see that he is exactly what I've always wanted in my life. He may not be perfect, but for some reason I can see through him and see him for who he really is. It's like looking at myself. The sad part that really hurts me though, is also when I see him, I see something that I cannot have. He's not taken, but I feel as though I will never have him. He's EXACTLY what I want, but 9 times out of 10 I know it'll never happen, because that kind of stuff never happens to me. Anyway, right now I want to be his friend for the simple fact that I feel as though he can help me grow as a person. And perhaps he could learn from me as well. LORD, over the last year, I have seen you make some major changes in my life right before my eyes. You made the impossible possible for me Lord; and I thank you for that. LORD, I KNOW for a fact you have bigger things lying ahead of me in my future, I KNOW you have a purpose for me lord; if not why am I still here? Lord I could have been DEAD or on the streets back at home lord, but you've been there for me. You've allowed me to gain the confidence that i NEVER had before in my life lord. Lord,I can't thank you enough for the storms you've alllowed to come turn my life upside down beause they made me the SOLDIER I am today lord. You are TRULY LORD OF ALL. In JESUS' name AMEN

The Quest-I-ON

Written June 12, 2008


Well, time is goin on and where do I stand? I've been in Baltimore since 5/10/07 and where am I? I kno it might sound as if i'm confused and perhaps have lost my mind; but for some reason something is missin in my life. It's like somethin is not there, i'm moving about my daily activities laughin, workin, as if I don't have a care. But i'm empty. My soul is longing for somethin beyond my reach. My mind is skimming and scanning and searching for this answer. My heart sits quiet afraid to speak up because it's afraid of rejection. What am I lookin for? What could it be? I'm blessed; I have a HOME, FAMILY, DISTANT FRIENDS,LOVER,A JOB,i'm not suffering- on the exterior. Deep inside, i'm missing a piece to my puzzle. A piece that is essential to exhibit the beautiful picture that stands before you. What is it? If I cannot get an asnwer just yet, where do I begin to look? It's Defintley not in drugs, sex, or money. WHAT IS IT??

Aujourd'hui, je suis mort

Today..I died
I gave my last breath to the wind,
bid farewell to the pain,
paid my debts to the world,
I never thought it would end this way...

Tomarrow I will become a new me,
I will grow from yesterday's mistakes,
shed away the tears from last week,
Forgive the maternal-derived heartaches that were made.

I tried to compensate the hurt with the fire from underneath..
the sheets,
that lead to their own destruction,
but by correction had led me to my ressurection...
Therefore, I live for tomarrow,
because today's dedication,
may lead to my salvation...


Finalement, je suis Libre!!